This is an interview that I had with my very good friend Daniel, I had been friends with him for about two years and he has agreed to tell me his story for me to write in this blog in order for people to understand trangender individuals and their struggles in life. Daniel said that I was one of the few people that actually understood him because I am agender and that people needed to hear the side of the story that is usually not told because it is just a whisper among the many faiths that are clamoring that it is a sin.
Daniel was raised in an Apostolic Pentacostal Church and was there until he decided that path was not for him. In the Apostolic Pentacostal church the roles of males and females are really clearly drawn. Females are not to cut their hair or wear jewelry which Daniel thought this was wrong, he always thought that God would give him the body that he desired. When he was young he used to pray ferociously that his body would grow into a male’s body just like all his friends. He used to be a female and because he was a female he understands issues that concern females like shopping for bras and how problematic it can be.
He quit the church at the age of 19 after he struggled with the fear that his soul was going to end up going to hell but he knew that it was not a choice, if he had a choice he would accept the fact that he had a female body and act like how females are socially thought to act. But since it was not his choice because his soul was a male he decided to quit a belief that did not match with his soul.
When he was in college he was able to find out the many parts of what made up the LGTB community. He realized that he was trans when he was the age of 24, he also realized that he was aromantic until later on. In college he was able to find people like him and actually feel like he actually belonged. He was able to have a relationship with a boyfriend, who was also going through self discovery of who he was. But even through transgender people are an important part of the LGTB community many people even in the community do not understand it.
Daniel changed his name in 12/2013 became legally a male in this year but it has been a battle for him to pass as a male and he has started to take testosterone on 09/2013 as well to help him in his journey to feel more comfortable in his skin. Although many people who had started to take testosterone have mentioned that it can take a few years for the effects of testosterone to show up. Although Daniel has had facial hair show up and his voice starting to change and he had surgery on his chest to reduce them it is still hard for people to refer to him as sir instead they use “ma’am”.
His family too have had a hard time referring to him by his name Daniel as well as his gender pronoun, which is male. Daniel’s family was not fair to him they end up referring to him as female all the time and by his old name. His cousin actually did not want any of her children’s pictures to be shown in Daniel’s profile because she was afraid that the LGTB community were perverts. His cousin eventually told him that she would allow him to see his nephews and nieces but to not tell them at all what he was or why he was transitioning even if the children were curious to know why their “aunt” chose the name Daniel or Dan. But his aunt also though that just by him being around the kids he would confuse them after he became transitioning. They refused to still refer to him as Dan or Daniel and also to understand that transitioning was the only thing keeping Daniel from committing suicide. But transitioning was not an over night thing for Dan he had been contemplating it for many years. He was depressed of being in a female body he wanted to try at least to take the hormones to help him get facial hair and more testosterone in his system than estrogen.
His family still kept calling him by his female name was he kept transitioning, Daniel told them that it would be dangerous if they called him in public by his female name and female pronouns because someone would try to harass him or even try to beat him. Because they refused to respect his wishes he preferred to keep them in a non contact list. The reason why they did not respect his wishes was because of their Christian religion but even so they did not hold the ” treat others as you want to be treated” . Their family believed that it was a Spirit that ended up getting into Daniel and that Spirit would end up getting stuck into the children.
It was a huge struggle for him to get his documents changed from female to male, and still getting people to talk to him as a male and other males to accept him as such. In order to get his documents changed he had to get a psychiatric letter but in order to do this he head to search for a psychiatric to do that and go through therapy which was 3-4 months but the psychiatrist told Daniel to a therapist that reported to the psychiatrist, which meant he had to see the psychiatrist twice. Once the psychiatrist agreed Daniel had to get an appointment to go to the endocrinologist in order to get his testosterone but they told him that it would take a year for him to start his treatment of testosterone. It also have cost $150 dollars to get the court date to change his name not only on his license but his Social Security card. The wording from the letter of his doctors had to be exactly right for the court to accept it.
What Daniel wants the world to know is that it is not easy to be stuck in the wrong body, these last words are from Daniel, ” Yes. I wouldn’t chose this. I prayed God make me “right” and “good” “what He wanted me to be” but my feelings never changed. I was very dedicated to Christianity when I was saved and still God changed nothing.