Lately, I been asking myself exactly where I belong. I know humans love labels we love to organize certain things in different places, but as years go by I end up learning new things and feeling closer to what I feel is how the world makes logical sense, I am caught between two parallels and even though they can seem a world apart to me they are kind of similar, as if there was a bridge between them. I am talking about Pantheism and Atheism since it is a Philosophy, I believe both of them are because Atheism is believing in no God and it doesn’t really seem all too organized like the Church of Scientology and such for example, since the Church of Scientology seems like a new idea, while Pantheism is pretty old as well as Atheism if I remember correctly.
But while a lot of people heard of Atheism, Agnostics, no one I really met has heard of Pantheism it really reminds me of when I was Wiccan but I would say I was Pagan, they did not know what to make of it because to them Wicca was seem as devil worship and Pagan they have not heard anyone describe themselves like that ever. I tend to like to mind boggle people and try to find where exactly my mind feels at ease at that moment, but just like with Christianity I started to question everything about Wicca even though some scientists have been able to levitate ( NOT Wingardium Leviosa from Harry Potter, I am a nerd, moving on) The link is here if you want to read more about the levitation of sound ( http://www.wired.com/2014/01/how-do-you-levitate-things-with-sound/ ) they show the video and explain it. Well I read in a book by Silver RavenWolf ( Yeah, I know that there are no holy books basically in Wicca mainly Grimoires and things which were taken from other Pagan cultures and put together wrapped in one religion that has a lot of branches in it and different ways to practice, as well as stories) but this particular story says:
Long, long ago, the world slept in the arms of the dark void.
From this place of nothingness, Spirit drew together and created Our Lady of Infinite Love.
The Lady danced among the heavens, Her feetbeating out the rythmn of all creation.- Silver Ravenwolf
Perhaps the turtle some cultures talked about really do not make any sense to me but when I saw these objects levitate because of sound that thought came to me, I just find it interesting that there are many things that cannot be explained and mainly in Wicca and Thelema have similar type of things, which all came from Pagan things, but the thing is that Christianity also came from Pagan traditions, Christmas December 25 when we all know that historians say it is impossible for the nativity scene to be like how it is painted on the Hallmart cards in Christmas time. We also know, at least you should know, that Christmas trees were basically a tradition brought from Germany based on the ideas of old gods and were seen as a Pagan influence by guess who? The Puritans who came from England running away from the religious persecution over there to the US, ironically they did not want to respect the traditions of other people. If it was not for Queen Victoria we would not have had them become the center piece of the celebration. (Don’t believe me about trees? Here is the link http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas-trees ) Not only that but other things from Paganism started to seep in the form of bits and parts from Sumerian texts and Egyptian text as well as other traditions like birthdays and Easter. Ever wonder why the bunny and the eggs are a part of Easter? It is because they both mean fertility in the old Pagan ways.
Jehovah Witness do not celebrate Christmas, Birthdays, or Easter because of the pagan traditions tied to them, hence when Christians start bashing Wicca, and all the branches of Paganism, I cannot help but laugh. I also went to a Latter Day Saints church and the only reason they gave me to celebrate the wrong date of the birth of Christ is “because it is a cultural norm.” Which I replied, “People have sex before marriage and the church condemns that, that’s a cultural norm now so should the church just allow it because that’s how people are now?” But this like many questions were dismissed. One of my Christian friends ( who I do love a lot but we don’t agree with certain things) told me that “You did not give Christianity a chance, you did not stick to it.”
Really now? A mental prison is something that I should stick with? I forgot what I answered back to her but it was filled with wit and we changed the subject. The same friend and me had a conversation in the car going to Walmart we talked about how I saw a movie in Mexico when I was younger called El Crimen Del Padre Amaro which basically is of a perverted priest that sleeps with this girl who is horny about Jesus, and he places a robe on her which was used to cover the Virgin of Guadalupe. She said, “that is blasphemous, why would you see that if you believe in God?” I told her I believe God is the universe and we are all part of the one but that’s a philosophy not a religion, I don’t agree with organized religion. Religion creates division and chaos takes us away from moving forward, and if I have to say my God would not be like the one in the bible.”
“What is your God like then?”
“One that doesn’t have a lot of hatred like the one in the Old Testament, I don’t even believe in the bible or any holy book, to begin with.”
Although now that I am not in the spot as I was then, because we were pretty close to a Prolifer, which I forgot who I was with and I ended up whispering, “Shhh! There is a prolifer there! I don’t feel like getting shot today.” She looked at me like, what the fuck? I am a prolifer. I had to explain, ” Look not every prolifer is open to agreeing to disagree, and moving the hell on from crap we don’t agree to stuff we do agree in. Plus people that think like me end up getting hurt.”
Which is true, but I am tired of being quiet! I see the patterns of certain things, I am trying very hard to understand the world around me and how hypocritical people can be but I am like, monkey see monkey do at times because I also end up putting that poker face and pretending that everything in life is peachy when it’s not. Theist and non theist people should look inside and really do a tally about their life and be honest about it and I am sure that for most people there are more sad moments than happy moments, which is expected because in order to be happy you have to have a unhappy in order to appreciate it, I get it. But I do not like seeing children in Africa dying while Mega churches in the States get fuller and fuller and these pastors have these jet planes and cars, what happened to the whole Camel and Needle thing from the bible?
And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
I don’t believe in the bible but they sure do, and I know some people will say something like:
Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. -James 2:19
Funny thing is that I am concerned more about people than God, just like I am more scared of serial murders than ghosts. I also do not believe in hell or the devil, although I believe in the Spirit of Rebellion, which I will go more into that in another post. Now excuse me but I am mainly picking on Christianity because I have a first person point of view about it, I have never been a Muslim although I don’t agree with a few things about them, but since I never been to one of their mosques, although if they invite me just to see what one of their services is like I would go just to see, I am also not Hindu or ever been but once again, I only seen images about it from certain videos I looked at Youtube about Hare Krishna’s being popular in Mexico City. Since, I do not have read a their holy books and Christianity is the majority and there are a lot of things which are in Paganism and they act like they are really two separate things or like the devil made people change the days of the week and the months in a year because he wanted to deceive people as well as made parallels between Paganism and Christianity, which by the way Paganism excised a long time before Christianity. Do you math much? ( That’s just one example, there is another example of gods being created by Satan to deceive Christians which was made by someone very prominent said but it eludes me at the moment if you know who it is, totally tell me.
By the way, I am just an observer, I take mental notes of things hence details fade often but anyway I found this little gem online just now trying to find the quote where such guy says that satan basically went back in time.
Symbols of God’s creation misused by pagan systems
God created stars, trees, geometry, planets, lights, etc……everything that was created was and is good.
To let Satan have a monopoly over every symbol of God’s creation is wrong.
God made the trees. But since pagans use the symbol of a tree, so now we are told we cannot celebrate with Christmas trees.
God made the stars. But pagans use the symbol of a star, so now we cannot use stars, even though the star of Bethlehem was significant in Christianity.
God created light. But pagans use candles, so now we cannot light candles for prayer.
God created birds. But pagans use the symbol of a bird, so now we cannot have pictures of birds.
God created the sun and moon. But pagans worship the sun and moon, so now we cannot use sun and moon in our art. – Heavenawaits@wordpress.com
So, tell me what dull life you live that you are scared to even look at the moon?
Where, do I belong the path continues, I talk like an atheist, yet unlike atheists I have an idea that God is like the universe full of chaos yet I find beauty in it, everything fixes itself just like the universe that creates supernovas that explode and eventually new stars are created from them, we are all part of it and therefore, we must be united for we are all part of The One. I grieve and am sad for people that pass away but plants and animals do too, I mentioned this before. There is really no intelligent design there are flaws in everything. We are apparently supposed to be similar to God which means that we are all one and God has flaws too hence I see God as the Universe it something vast and beautiful with a lot of chaos. I do not see God as a person or anything like that I do not believe in a personal butler God I believe in medication and self coaching to get through things, that the spirit (life) that is around the Universe is shared by all and should be respected.
I have to say it but even cockroaches live long after their body is cut off.
If God favored us why did that happen? Why are pest like that capable of doing that, I understand it would be grotesque to see a human without a head and their body living for weeks like the Headless Horseman but still I wonder.
I also differ from some Pantheist because I am vegetarian. I believe in the Wiccan Rede “An’ it harm none, do what thou wilt.” or like Alister Crowley who was seem as the most horrible man on the face of the earth said, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, love under will.”
To end, I do not know if I should join atheist, agnostic, or stuff like Godless Mingle since I am a Pantheist. I tend to be the type of person that as long as the philosophy sounds logical I will listen to it but I only like my fairy tales in books like Harry Potter and Twilight, I do not pray to them or to the Gods in The Game of Thrones.
(I feel content now, perhaps grammar is not the greatest but I feel it reflects what these bones feel.)